I’m not afraid of much. Mainly because in a lot of ways, I feel like most things that could hurt me can be “handled.” See a snake? Whack it with a hoe. Spiders? Shoes are my preferred weapon. Large male mustachioed attacker? I would employ the usual screaming and biting, plus Miss Congeniality taught me to SING… I’m not really some hardcore daughter of Chuck Norris type, but many of the things that scare girls can be dealt with if one just remains calm and perhaps enlists the help of some training in self defense. However, the one thing that turns me into a flailing pansy of fear is disease. It’s the one thing that try as we might, humans can never fully control. Spending Spring Break alone would not have been incredibly frightening had I not decided to have a zombie movie marathon and follow it up with a viewing of Contagion. So now every creak and otherwise ambiguous sound turns into something coming to infect me, probably by eating my brains. Seriously, the a/c kicked on and I jumped out of bed preparing to meet a zombie with the pointy end of a pillow. What’s the point of this post? There isn’t one. Except maybe don’t watch scary movies when you’re spending a week alone in a big house. And perhaps find something more practical to meet a midnight attacker than the nearest feathery fluff ball. Throwing a cat, for example, would have had better results. But as I didn’t have a feline on hand and there were no actual zombies, I think the experience is more of a lesson learned than anything.
First sight, blue eyes
Crazy dreams, tongue tied
Walls of coy and mystery
Lead to where self interests meet
The leap of faith, the biting sting
Mournful confusing cries, a plea
Saved yourself but where was I?
Scattered, unwhole, breaking, tongue tied.
Words have power, I’ve always believed that. Silence has power too. When someone doesn’t say something that needs to be said, sanity becomes a precarious concept. Silent words are a personal affliction to the heart crushed by false actions. How does one make someone say something they should have? How does one accept that another may never have meant any words they actually did say? The business of the thing is to either find words with more power and which hold more truth and cling to them, or to disallow words to have any power at all. The second option is practically impossible and the first is an arduous task. No one has ever said that truly moving on is easy, at least in the beginning, but it’s a necessary component of growth. I am not just writing about breakups, though clearly that’s where a large part of my inspiration here comes from. All people can be cruel for no reason at all. And still there is hope. What would life be without negative experiences there to shed light on good things? All I have to say for myself in the end here is don’t shut the world out, that only makes it worse. If you can bear to continue putting on your shoes in the morning, you can allow yourself let people redeem themselves.
I have recently spent a lot of time hanging out with my little bro. He really encourages my inner child to surface. Our daily activities include (but are by no means limited to) plastic light saber fights, an on-going Harry Potter marathon, and build battles in multiplayer mode on Minecraft. Anyway, I realized that while there are plenty of people who understand why these things are so awesome, they are more commonly than not categorized as nerdy. To classifications like that I ask why. Why? Does one have to be a nerd to enjoy certain fandoms? Does someone classified as a nerd necessarily have to like all “nerdy” fandoms? Is there really even such a thing as a nerd? Isn’t there a little nerd in all of us? What if I decide that I hate BSG but LOVE Harry Potter? Does it make me any less of a nerd if I choose to like both Star Wars and Star Trek? Or perhaps more of one…”Nerdy” things are for everyone. Equal rights for the nerd inside each and every one of us! I can like designer handbags, lipgloss, and Gossip Girl but still be gaga for Doctor Who. Who says a girl can’t be both Barbie and Xena? Or a man both Luke Skywalker and Johnny Lawrence? Find a happy medium, people! For heaven sake, categories and cliques are getting old. Be something new. Be a mix of a bunch of old things. You don’t have to be a complete saint or a total tool. You are, however, encouraged to try something new. Maybe you never thought you’d like Lord of the Rings because it’s “nerdy.” Try it anyway. I can guarantee you that most of what you think fits into that category has something for everybody. If you’d prefer Gold’s Gym to ComiCon, that’s okay. If it’s the other way around, that is too. Just don’t go liking things because they’re cool and missing others because they aren’t. Superheros and zombies are all the rage these days, but for what it’s worth I give you permission to continue liking them even when they go out of style. You’re awesome, now go take a test drive on the nerdy side of life.